~

DAY 1:

There are setbacks before we even move onto the lot, this one taking the form of an optional challenge. A water main in the house has busted, causing flooding and damage to the plumbing. Both sinks and the bathtub are spouting water into the air. There are no bonuses as such for taking the challenge, but I selected to use it anyway. It seemed more fun that way.

The trio enter the house, and sure enough Andrew’s neuroses cause him to have an immediate panic attack. He freaks out for a few minutes, but eventually eases the tension by checking the sink for major damage. Relieved that it’s just the water main, he goes he plonks down on a chair and reads. Ollie barely seems to notice the water at all; instead he simply grabs a book and starts reading. Sybil somehow manages to be the most level-headed of the three in this circumstance, just grabbing a mop and starting to clean up the mess in the bedrooms.

From left to right: The back of Andrew’s head, Sybil and Ollie.

A short time after their arrival the doorbell rings. It’s a handyman named Clark, apparently called automatically at the start of the game. At least I’m not going to have untrained Sims attempt to fix the plumbing, thought I. Oh how wrong I was. Within minutes Clark has started cursing at the bathtub and has been attacked by the sink. I don’t think he’s very good at his job.

Good work, son

After a few more hours of hissing pipes and water up to their ankles, the doorbell rings again. This time it’s a group of neighbors who’ve come to greet the street’s new residence. The Losers seem to find their arrival less than impressive, instead choosing to simply ignore them completely.

Sybil, the perfect hostess.

After no less than an hour of waiting, the group eventually just gives up and goes home. I spot the elderly lady sprinting back home. She’s a sprightly one.

I eventually realized that I’d made Andrew as a computer genius character without actually buying him a computer. In the interests of fairness and mercy I buy the poor boy a decent computer, so that he may unravel the technological mysteries in the world. He quickly uses this amazing piece of machinery to the fullest by playing what appears to be Skate 2. Go EA!

Goooo~ PC Gaming Alliance!

With Andrew out of the way, Ollie and Sybil have some time to interact. They find common ground: He writes about the WTF crazy, and she is WTF crazy. As such the conversation turns into (As best I can tell) a discussion on the relationship betweens llamas and yetis.

Protip: The yetis eat them.

Night falls at the end of the Losers’ first day in the city. The group goes off to separate rooms. While Andrew and Sybil sleep…

Ollie catches up on his reading.

Meanwhile…

Yes, Clark is still here. And guess what? He has yet to successfully fix a single broken fixture.

Clark is not very good at his job.

So I’ve been reading some very positive stories about The Sims 3 of late. Positive enough to cause myself – a gamer who made several increasingly confused attempts at understanding the popularity and hype of The Sims 2 back in the day – to consider giving this new version a shot. In the end it was Alice and Kev (Linked above) that forced the issue; the characters and world seemed too bewilderingly human to possibly be AI controlled. I had to see if it was an accurate portrayal of the game proper.

In the interests of science, I began a test of my own: Using The Sims 3, three stereotypical losers will be forced to room together in a rubbishy starter home for three days, with as little interaction from myself as possible. I honestly didn’t intend to turn it into a diary, but in the end I was just having too much fun watching it all play out not to. So cobbling together some incredibly amateurish screenshots, I present it to the internet.

I’m going to lob it up in three sections to avoid ridiculous amounts of images in a single post and to keep things a little neater. You’ll have to forgive me, I only relented and started screen-capping about twenty minutes into the adventure, so no character creation pics. A shame, but I’m sure we’ll manage.

Let’s go now, shall we?

See you next time!